We needed a funny way to liven up a boring evening, and firecrackers seemed like a great idea. Steve and I shared an apartment with two other guys, Ron and Ford. They often went to sleep early — way too early for college students. So it was time to jazz things up a bit.
I held the firecrackers. Steve held the match and the doorknob. Once the pack was lit, Steve quickly opened the door. I tossed the pack (yes, a full pack, not just one firecracker) onto the only flat surface visible in the dark room — a desk near the door with a shiny laminated top.
Sounds funny, right? Okay, so if you’re the serious type and don’t find it funny, then we were doing a science experiment to study the cumulative impact of chemical reactions within an enclosed space (but we still thought it was funny).
Unfortunately, we discounted the physics of slippery surfaces, and the firecrackers quickly slid across the laminated top and tumbled off the edge of the desk onto the bed positioned against the desk.
Which is to say, onto the pillowcase of our sleeping roommate Ron.
The firecrackers exploded — all 20 or so of them — and we nearly blew Ron’s eardrums out. We also blew a few holes in his pillowcase.
Ron was not pleased. Neither was Ford. I tried to explain it wasn’t our fault — seriously, what college student keeps a squeaky clean desk? But, well, okay they kinda had a reason to be upset.
Of course now, ha-ha, we’re all friends and let bygones be bygones!
Right? Right, Ron?
Who knows what kind of fiery, tough, vengeful questions he is likely to ask me. Or what outbursts may occur.
The topic of his sermon is Wealth, Poverty, and the Kingdom of Christ. Services are at 9 AM and 11 AM, and I’ll be signing books between and after the services. It should be fun, informative, and uplifting. And possibly deafeningly loud. I’d love to see you there.
Just please don’t bring any firecrackers. Those things are dangerous.
For more information, check out the church website. The church is located at 505 Driscoll Road, Fremont, California.